SK Biswal Chief Engineer at ONGC. Interested in Stock option trading ,Technical Analysis of Stocks & Commodities

Overcoming Psychology Of Loss,Failure And Defeat

6 min read

We all dream to get rich one day and to lead comfortable and happy life. Failures and setback threaten to shatter our inner strength and those dreams ub fortunately.This is like a law of nature and happens to one and all.Ups and downs are said to be life.We dream of good life as we don’t enjoy lack of respect and recognition in society and lack of comfort and happiness. Therefore our dreams remain close to our heart.When dreams are shattered it causes suffering and mental tensions.We break psychologically in those times.we suffer anxiety ,depression and loss of confidence and physical health problems including sleepiness.we ourself become our worst enemy and reinforce our failure further.Key challenge is to fight the enemy within. Psychology is about when AAP KO BAHUT BURA LAGTA HAI for long period and you can not concentrate or do some thing productive or creative to reach your goal or dream.



If you don’t enjoy something and you suffer due to something ,you give it up even if it is your dream.Your life gets better of your dreams .No one likes to sacrifice today for tomorrow forever.Success eludes them who give up easily without fighting oneself.Many cancer patients have demonstrated that resolve.Key challenge is to have faith and protect your dream.Dreams are not evil just because their psychological hazards.Dreams of becoming engineer .CEO, rich trader or politician or simply building a house are what life is made up of.

When you fail in something or faced with adversities like huge losses,you are filled with bitterness of spirit and unhappiness.If you continue with this state of mind you are going to fail further.But you do long for success and get out of your suffering and bitterness.Don’t give up dreams as source of your trauma or shock.Normal tendency is to withdraw and to assume to manage with less.Don’t settle for less.So you have to fight yourself now and bring back that mood of positiveness, optimism, happiness and confidence in you to be creative and productive with past strength.Without happiness and strength you no courage to succeed. Positive thinking gives courage which gives strength.With strength we meet challenges with success or we miserably fail.Adversity has no goal post and is a black hole or bottom less pit.Only happiness,optimism and confidence has a goal. Anxiety , depression, suffering ,pessimism which are by product of failure and adversity leads to dark and end less tunnel.So we have to come out sooner than later.If you continue to remain unhappy and bitter ,things will go frm bad to worse.You become poor and have to live in margins of society as deprived.Only happiness and confidence can give you success and overcome the spiral of adversity and failures.Catch up with dreams once again.

Money is building blocks of our dreams and source of all potential pleasures and also pain in failure to get it.When you hit a big loss ,it follows lot of pain sometimes unbearable for a very long time.Your life suffers and time stops for you.Then fear of future loss.How to survive those fearful days? How to remain happy cheerful and confident in those days to live life.You are left with no strength and spirit of living.Your hands are in hot water.You are completely tied up with worries and anxieties.Your performance going suffer.In these trying times only happiness and relaxation can connect you to your dream and goal.But how to remain happy and relaxed in those dark period?so as to remain focused on dreams.As said before psyche of failure pushes you into darkness of poverty.Only happiness and optimism leads to success and prosperity ,and escape ladder from black holes of adversity.All we need strength and courage when we trip.When HUMKO BAHUT BURA LAGATA HAI.

However, even if you control your risk on every trade and have a methodology that is a winner in the long term you can still be tripped up by your own mind. Even while managing risk you will probably lose 10% t0 20% of your capital or even more in a draw down with a more aggressive system . This is just the reality of trading. Even with a robust trading system or methodology that wins in the long term you have to sit through losing streaks of 10-20 trades at some point in your trading career. What does it take to come back after you lose? Especially after you lose big, or after you lose over and over. You add in dealing with the evaporation of paper profits or missing a trade that would have been a big winner and the trader can really beat themselves up mentally. There is pain in losses and pain in winners that could have been bigger. Your success in trading is directly related to what is going on in your mind. If your losses are eating you up emotionally you must lower your position size and risk per trade until you find the level where your emotions disconnect from your losses.


“It is your resistance to ‘what is’ that causes your suffering.” Buddha

“I did not fail at inventing the light bulb, I just first found 99 ways that it didn’t work.” Thomas Edison
We’ve all gone through hard times. And we all get through them. However, some get through them better than others. So what is their secret? Most of it has to do with attitude. Here are few things to remember when life gets rough. Since the beginning of time, humans have enjoyed getting high. From peyote to fasting, from booze to orgasm, people love to alter their consciousness and feel good. Sometimes I just want dopamine, serotonin, endorphins and zippy laugh-riot good times. or yogic with hula hoops or some sort of tool that helps you mold your body to intricate geometries repeatedly, it is possible for your body to produce temporary consciousness expanding moments although your state of perception may remain long term. A meditative state of mind must be achieved to put your perception into a sensitive and mold-able state to aid the process. Your state of mind creates the difference between a normal adrenaline / endorphin rush and a full DMT like temporary altered state. I have many times had that experience happen to me where it almost creates a fork in the road,

It makes sense if you look on google and see how serotonin in synthesized in the pineal gland to create meletonin and DMT. Your brain won’t activate the pineal gland during the day unless a meditative state is achieved. Now you understand why the meditative state is required and why so many people never experience what I am speaking of until they start practicing yoga.

1.Improve Your Diet
Foods for depression can be much more effective than a bottle of junk made by Big Pharma. That saying – you are what you eat – is true. If you eat tons of refined sugar, unhealthy fats, and no ‘living foods’ like organic fruits and vegetables, you will look and feel…not so great! You need high levels of B12, found in fish and eggs, to increase neuronal communication between ‘good’ brain pathways, fiber to avoid spikes in blood sugar and insulin which can lead to depression, folate to keep your brain bathed in cerebrospinal fluid, iron to make sure your blood can transport oxygen, iodine to lower depression and increase memory, calcium to lower anxiety and curb depression, and much more. Try leafy greens, nuts, and foods high in Omega 3s to get an immediate happiness boost1.
2.The Easiest Way to Feel Better, by Far, is to Exercise.
In study after study, scientists have proven that just moving your body makes you feel better. Exercise boosts dopamine levels and oxytocin levels – two hormones responsible for happiness and love; one dampens pain, the other makes you feel ‘bliss.’ Why take a pharmaceutical drug that might cause you to have migraines or become suicidal when you can just spend 10 minutes throwing a Frisbee with your dog, or walking along a path in nature? (Spending time with your dog and being in nature also happen to boost your happiness hormones, so you can get two for the price of one!)
It means that through the power of belief, your biological body can react in a necessary way to target whatever ailment you are experiencing. Thoughts, feelings, and emotions are directly responsible for changing your biology. If we look at depression for example, we are told the main cause of it is a chemical deficit in the brain. But if thoughts, feelings and emotions can release different chemicals in the brain, why not just work on the patients feelings to induce a different chemical state? If our feelings, emotions and thoughts are directly correlated with our biology.This is why it’s not examined thoroughly,
the power of our perception and its ability to create our reality and even change our biology would open the door to a multitude of other questions, possibilities and potentialities for the human race.

If you don’t get something you want, it just means something better is coming. That’s hard to believe sometimes, I know. But it’s true. Usually, when you look back at your life, you will be able to see why it was actually a good thing that something didn’t work out. Maybe the job you didn’t get would have made you spend more time away from your family, but the job you did get was more flexible. Just have faith that everything happens exactly the way it’s supposed to.

Depression is one of the causes of high cholesterol.It is interesting to know its actions.It is needed to manufacture steroids and cortisone like hormones in our body.This in turn controls the myriad functions of body.The body produces excess cholesterol only when need arises.Whenever one needs more steroids,bile acid ,myeline and cortisol ,the liver puts more cholesterol into circulation.Steroid and cortisol level goes up when one is in fright –fight-flight mode. Anger, jealousy, fear, greed, hotility,prie and superego produces fright-flight-fight state. Cortisol is needed when you see a tiger in forest to activate your defence mechanisms and not on cronic basis. Of course if one is in that dangerous mode on daily basis the cholesterol levelgoes up.All one need to do is to go into parasympathetic mode in daily life with exercises and moderate eating.Prof Dudly white cardiologist wrote “a vigorous five mile walk will do more good to a unhappy but otherwise healthy adult than all the medicine and psychology in the world”

SK Biswal Chief Engineer at ONGC. Interested in Stock option trading ,Technical Analysis of Stocks & Commodities

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